After reading the "study" on how ugly me and my fellow black women are I literally had to take a moment and look in the mirror, then I proceeded to go online and Google black women. I was confused; I saw nothing but beauty. From the shades of our skin to the shapes of our bodies--I couldn't find anything "ugly" about us. Sure, we all are different and yes, we may not all be attractive to everyone but that's life. I've seen plenty of White women, Hispanics and so forth that aren't the ideal image of what society deems beautiful so why is that WE, one of the most diverse race of people crowned the ugliest? That makes no sense to me. In my honest opinion, either you're physically attractive or you are not. I don't think race has a direct impact on your beauty. Everyone is not for everybody but there is always someone out there for somebody, many fail to realize this.
I think that black women have come a long way, we have evolved and it seems that just when we start to love ourselves someone comes around and tries to steal our joy. I can't even begin to imagine what our youth thinks about the article. I know for me, growing up as a "little black girl" was tough. I was never "pretty enough," light enough, hair was never quite long enough; even though for years it was past my shoulders or longer. I hated myself. Being African American sucked and I longed to be a white girl. I never saw the white kids picking on each other because of there hair or skin tone. It was always all love with them but for my people, it was a slew of competition and slanderous words that cut deep when you are fourteen years old. If this article would've come out when I was in high school I really think myself hatred would've grown to be even worse; especially since I didn't know any better than what I was telling myself. Good thing I eventually learned self love and acceptance as I grew older. I worry about my race and our youth, someone has to teach these kids that you don't have to be "light skin, long hair" to be beautiful. Beauty, when it comes down to it, is an opinion that not everyone will agree with. I know that there are so many other black girls out there who feel the same way that I used to and it's painful. Black folks are in competition with themselves and WE hate OUR people, so it seems. Where are the uplifting articles about how strong and resilient we are? Where are the positive statements posted about our looks, features and beauty? Where are our men doting on us for who we are versus wanting a "bad bitch who looks tropic?" Instead we get slandered and laced with "oh, girl you ugly" comments. Which shows that if you aren't a "certain type" of black girl you'll never be good enough. Well, I beg to differ!
When we starting loving our race as a whole things will change. When we stop comparing ourselves to the next girl things will change. And when we stop name calling and raising our children to be insecure about their kinky hair or darker shade of brown skin, things will change. WE as in US have to make the difference. NO article or scientific study can dictate my beauty. Life is temporary and when the more we get wrapped up in the wrong things the longer it will take for our race to change.
xoxo,
Alex
10 comments :
Alex you did a wonderful job on this post I read the article last week and was so upset. I'm not sure why Black women are always the target but it needs to stop. Being a girl is hard enough sometimes and I just feel so bad for young girls that are growing up in this era with such negativity.
I want to first say I absolutely love you blog. You posts are creative and thought provoking. simply the best.
In regards to this article, I completely agree with you! When I see the top 100 beautiful women in the world or whatever near the end and beginning of the year, our black women reign supreme. If we consider the most sought after and idolized females of our time, Tyra Banks, Beyonce, Naomi Campbell Halle Berry and various other black females make the top ten.
I seriously question the purpose behind that stupid article, because everyone who has heard about it (sans white supremacists, of course) has completely disagreed. Like you said black women have such amazing unique features. We can change our looks almost instantly and rock styles and colors no other race would dare to do. Black women always have and always will be at the forefront of fashion because of ability to diversify with so many elements in nature.
Even in movies when Goddesses are depicted their features are similar to that of a black woman- curvaceous, powerful and natural.
I wish the idiot researcher would explain why he chose to study this. When I read the article I was more skeptic than anything. The data of his research seemed extremely questionable and I am sure that the results couldn’t be replicated. From what I saw it looked like also only chose three races to look at. I did not see Asian or middle eastern in the study. I think it was an extremely ineffective study and I am sure his reputation is circling the drain as we speak.
Awesome job! I'm glad you didn’t let the article destroy you <3
Since when can you "scientifically" decide what beauty is? What complete and utter bullshit. Black women are absolutely gorgeous, regardless of what some internet racist quackery has to say about it. I'm not going to pretend I know your struggle, or how hard it is for you all to get a break in this world, but just know that there are those of us who aren't black that think black people are absolutely beautiful, and that we will stand behind you through some stupid shit like this.
Basically, fuck that guy.
Excellent post! The author of that "study" has a history of sexist articles and I don't know why that magazine published his nonsense for so long. I hope he FINALLY gets fired!
THANK YOU SO MUCH for the great comments! Love y'all!
Hi Alex,
I read your blog but I never comment on your posts, but on this topic I feel compelled to say something. I completely agree with you that as a race we divide ourselves based on skin tone. Whether it's what we see in the magazine, store ads, music videos or what rappers say, there is a certain "ideal" black woman, but it seems like the ideal is unatainable. Within black women there seems to be a divide between darker skin women and lighter skin women and its truly unfortunate because we all have our struggles. I am light skin with long hair and I have a two year daughter who's even lighter with longer hair lol and it's hard for us too.
I think that sometimes we want what other's have, we think the grass is greener on the other side, things aren't always great on the other side. Growing up around a majority of white people I always felt different and it wasn't until I went to public school for high school that I was even considered "good looking". Because I was around white girls all day, I always wore my hair in a pony tail and never did anything special to it because it didn't flow like the other girls. When I came to high school, everyone was shocked at how long my hair was and that it was all my own. I did get a lot of attention from guys and even had other darker skin girls, specifically ones with short hair or weave, comment that the reason why I was getting this attention was because I was light skin with long hair. As I began to get comfortable with my looks, the new big booty phenomenon happened and I once again felt less adequate and attractive because I am very slender and can never pick up any weight.
After my daughter was born, my whole perception of beauty changed. I realized that whatever insecurities I had needed to be put aside so I could raise her to be confident and proud of her looks. But, like you said, I do worry about what will happen with her in school. She is light, very pretty and has really long hair and even gets teased now by her half siblings about her looks... they always are calling her the Mexican lol. Even as a family we jokingly call her Chiquita because she looks Puertorican.
All of that to say, I think we need to start loving ourselves first and try to accept all manifestations of African American beauty. We need to teach our girls and boys about how to be proud of the way they look and stop believe the garbage society feeds us
@Jas thank you so much for sharing that! I love what you wrote and I appreciate you posting!
Alex you always have a way of setting it straight. Nice post!
Although I'm not African American, I was still really pissed off at this article for many reasons. One being that females already face a lot of body image issues as it is, so to single out an entire race is just beyond messed up. Secondly, have you seen the guy who wrote this? He is fugly! How dare he even opinionated on looks when he has the face only a mother could love!?
And in my opinion, the people that actually agree with the argument of that article most likely feel that way towards most non-Whites anyway. Which also bothered me.
"When we start to love ourselves someone comes around and tries to steal our joy." - Funny thing about that is, he did mention in his article about how African Americans view themselves as the most beautiful. So maybe he was trying to bring down the self esteem... of an entire freakin' race!?
Oh and... if African Americans physical attributes are so "unattractive"... why the hell do we see so many of the "other" races getting butt implants, lip injections, etc? Hmm.
Well said! It's about time we loved ourselves instead of tearing ourselves down. That is why I love the natural hair blogs. It's all about acceptance-first with our hair and hopefully with everything else that makes us "us".
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