Proud

I love my hair, my nose, my skin, my face, my flaws. You should love yours too.

Be proud. Stay beautiful.

Earlier today I experienced some of the most disrespectful nonsense in my life! I have been debating on speaking on the situation but I think a lot of people may benefit from reading this. Many of you don't know my "story" but to make a long story short I used to be very unsure of myself, insecure and I was not proud of who I was. I was never good enough, not just for other people but for myself. It took me such a long time to embrace who God made me. I hated my hair, my skin, my nose, my figure-- EVERYTHING I was I hated. So rewinding to today, I am proud of who I am, I love my features, I adore my hair and I am pretty darn happy with the woman I am being molded by God to be. 


I got on Twitter today and was greeted with a tweet from a COMPLETE stranger saying that I was a "slave looking, ugly, black crow and a nobody in this world b**tch" and that, he (yes, a man was tweeting this) "hates my face and my nose" along with other crazy insanely rude comments, like he "hates the remy weave I am wearing" LOL, and my hair is NOT weaved at the moment. I was stunned, not only because I do not know this individual but because he dedicating so much time and hatred on a person he's never met. 


After doing some research, I found out who he was and indeed he is a resident of my county and he went to school with several of my childhood friends. Still confused at his hateful words, I was convinced he had the me mistaken with someone else, until the tweets kept coming. The verbal harassment was RIDICULOUS. I've heard somethings over the years but experiencing this as a 22 year old young woman and mother, I was stunned. It seems that some black people really hate their race. While reading through his timeline I saw that he refers to himself as a "bigot and a racist," he also exclaims how he's so happy to be light skinned and not a "crow" (I have NO IDEA what a crow is, by the way)-- if you are wondering, yes, he is a black man.


Never did I thought I'd be the target of "cyber bullying" as an adult. Especially, since my life is so different now. The things that person said did hit a soft spot with me, I'll be honest. I was teased a lot as a kid and I was also in a verbally/emotionally abusive relationship with the person I have a child with. So some bad memories were brought to the surface, verbal wounds take so much longer to heal that physical ones. I've changed so much over the years, the past year alone my life has evolved and God has truly blessed me. I've grown to love my flaws and accept who I am. These days I'm much calmer, gentler and nicer. I try my best to give and spread love as it was intended.  My life and future success is dedicated to my daughter. Tteaching her that it's more to this world than the superficial expectations of beauty and perfection is important to me. With that said, I really try and watch my thoughts and actions carefully even when I am angry or hurt. I am a strong believer that you are what you think and allow in your space, negativity and hatred is NOT allowed in mine.


The point of  this post is to tell each and everyone one of you, who have been teased, bullied, picked on, and targeted out of hate; to stay strong and STAND PROUD in yourself. If I wasn't who I was today, I would have taken his hurtful words much harder and it would've shaken my world in a completely different way. Although the hate that was thrown my way did sting a little, I was able to laugh at the ignorance he portrayed PUBLICLY on a social network. Black people hate each other more than other races hate us and that is a shame!
Not everyone is going to love your looks, your hair, your complexion, ect... but as long as the you love them and you're proud of YOU, that's all that matters in the long run. 


Let no one steal your joy.

xoxo,

Alex